Minutes feel like hours.

All I want to do is go to bed during the day.

Carrying this third eye is a double-edged sword. I wanted to see these things... I just cannot seem to turn it off... I can see everything going on but I can't say or do anything about what I see.

I feel like these things are growing inside me. Like cancer.

I almost let down my guard today.

I need to step away before it kills me completely... I would still find a way.

Which is why I'm going to bed.

I don't know what to believe. Its hard to come back from secrets...

My massive meat hammer.

This weekend was eventful to say the least.

I went to spend the night with Laura and Sam. We had fun, got uber drunk in bars. It was fun until Sam started putting the moves on me, so then I decided to sober up.

I had weird phonecall from some dude at 3:00 that night... I was a little drunk and thought it was Brock. Turns out it was some really gay guy I had a date with like 4 months ago... So I bluntly asked him why he would bother calling me 4 months later. I also then decided I didnt care what his answer was and that I had a boyfriend now so he can leave me alone lol.

After all that, I woke up early and went to get my boyfriend outta bed for the pride parade. Turns out Samuel and Josh beat me to that. lol. Got all saddled up, gave my lovely wifey and call and she came real quick and we all piled in her rickety car and must have went to every "coast hotel" in greater edmonton. I had fun and hardly get to play passenger so i was enjoying the people watching aaha.

The pride parade was pretty cool. A little gay for me though. After watching a little of that we ran into quite a few people that Brock knew. They seemed nice even though I'm positive they didn't like the fact that I was his boyfriend... Anyway, it was so hot that we went into the fountain and churchill.. it was fun.... until we realized that we lost Brock's keys.

We had to rush back to his place and get new keys. Then we had to stay in for the night.

I dunno... it was a weird weekend. I had fun... I wished I could have seen a bit more of pride though...

I also wish I hadn't embarassed myself Sunday morning.... I kind of wanted to die... /brutality

I don't know.. I kind of lost the drive to write today... I feel so down... I have such fluctuating emotions lately. I wish I could keep them at bay..

Sooo I don't think anyone is gonna call me this weekend haha..

Whatever, I'm tired of calling people and making plans. If they were really my friends, they would pick up the phone and give me a call out of the blue some time. Maybe we'd hang out? Who knows, its such a radical idea. I like getting phonecalls... seeing as how many times I call all my friends, I thought someone would pick up on this.. MSN and Facebook are not my favorite ways of communicating.

I have my girlfriend, Lara Croft, staying with me this weekend. We're going to play Xbox 360 all weekend.

But I digress. I know I have genuine friends... Lately its been hard to differentiate.

As a person, lately, I feel that I've been taken for granted.

I feel I have plenty to offer. I'm very funny and witty. I'm always there for my friends. If someone needs to cry, oh look! I have a shoulder! I may not offer the best advice but I listen to everything you have to say. Whats better than that is I actually remember what you say. I like to take care of my friends.. I'll buy them lunch, dinner, drinks and rent movies becuase when it comes to good times with friends... well, you really can't put a price on that..... right?

I can't say all my friends are as generous as I am but I'm sure you know who your are. You guys will pick up tabs.

What I can say is that some are exploiting my good nature. I work hard for my money. As do you, but your  money is just as good as my money... so why the tight wallet?

Once again, these aren't the main concerns. You all seem to think you know whats best for me, who I should be, and what I should look like. You need to lay off. I'm still finding myself... its going to take me longer... deal with it.

You think I'm a book that you've read from front to back... I think you missed a couple pages...

I've been thinking for a long time... whats been missing? Why this? Why that? Its been right in front of me this whole time.. it can be explained in one. simple. sentence.

"I've been so worried about pleasing others that i forgot to please myself."

I guess thats not how its supposed to be... I make plans, make decisions, and hell, make the money thinking noone else will do it. It seems some have gotten used to this. Whats been fine for other people, has been boring for me. I WANT CHANGE.

I would like to go to the bars, I would like to go golfing, I would love to go swimming or the arcade... The point is... whether or not you think I'll like it or not.. if you have a idea... say it... what are scared of? Am I scary?

One of the excuses I got was... "You won't like the bars I go to... they are a...... little flamboyant"

This is a perfect example because everyone seems to know what I want and what I don't like. Sure, I may not be gay, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't be fun? I just want to have fun, go somewhere different, do something different.. I mean, do they not let straight people in? Is there two drag queen bouncers at the front with sailor moon batons ready to hit anyone straight that tries to sneak in?

It may not be something I want to do ever again... but that would be something to talk about..

l'm being left out. Lots of things are being done without me. Noone asked, noone invited.

Maybe... the reason that I'm being left out is because.. maybe I'm not the friend I think I am.. maybe the people I consider best friends... well.. maybe they don't think the same way?

Or maybe I'm too embarassing? Or too weird, too straight, too loud, too immature, too needy, too obsessive.

If you think of any of these as a negative.. You can fuck off right now. Go find some other friends... Tell me straight up after reading this.. "I don't want to be your friend anymore. Your too immature"

I'm not going to change for you, or for anyone else. This is the person you decided to be friends with.. I'm the same person.

This is how I feel. I wish everyone would see this... but you know what? Lots of people are fine with being blissfully unaware and thats not going to be cool with me anymore.

Start thinking about other people or ... those other people... are not going to be here for very long.

I didn't think empathy was such a hard trait to come by. PROVE ME WRONG.

I LOVE HOW I WORK ALL WEEK AND NOTHING GETS DONE AROUND MY HOUSE.

DISHES AREN'T DONE, LAUNDRY ISN'T DONE, KITCHEN ISN'T CLEAN.

I MEAN, DAVID HAS IT ALL DOWN PAT "WHY SHOULD I DO ANYTHING WHEN MICHAEL WILL DO THIS ON THE WEEKEND"

YES, I LOVE HOW EVERY SUNDAY I CLEAN A WEEKS WORHT OF MESS IN THE KITCHEN BECAUSE YOU WILL REFUSE TO CLEAN UP.

I would like for once, not to have to clean up a epic mess on the weekends.. those are my days off so I can recharge my batteries so I may be able to work another week....

and no, I'm definitely not going to pay for your insurance just because you have no job... find one ... and find it close to home... THAT WAY YOU WONT NEED TO DRIVE.


excuse me while I take decorations down and write a cover letter for my brother.

AHah I thought I hated arcade fire... turns out I just didnt like anything on their last album... but I like the new stuff :P

whoops

I would also like to relay the message that, as of boxing day, I now have all the buffy seasons... and I am starting from season one as I have forgot the whopping 30%  I watched... I dont care for season 1-2 because they are so old school... but I will push through them.

Also, after a deep thought provoking daydream session, there isn't much I wouldn't do for money. Its not that I'm poor or need money, I just was thinking to myself today "what questionable things would I do if I needed money quick AND if I did do said questionalbe things, how much would I expect to be paid"

yeah.

yeah.

12 hours of doing nothing but stack newspapers will make you think up weird shit.

anyways~

mike out.

2008 = not the greatest start.. lets turn this bitch around

im in such a bad mood.

i made 2 resolutions because I know I'm wont acheive the other... because i have no confidence.

work tomorrow... boo

Yeah, I was spoiled this year.. haha

I got a XBOX 360 and enough videogames to last me the year. I also can't forget my CRAZY new sweater... haaha I love my Mom.. She always finds the weirdest clothes and is like "thats my son, mike".. Its half navy blue, half neon/lime green with a yellow hood and lime green and yellow stars.... its quite the sweater ahaha

I also got a new bathrobe, seeing as I have had the other one since I was 10 or so.. it looks like a kimono thing on me now..

David got me umm... Pokemon Pearl... I pretended I wasn't that excited.. (but secretly, I'm a little excited ... theres like what.. 500+ pokemon haha.. I'll play it for like 20 minutes at a time)

I also got chocolate ... lots of chocolate.. and to think... I was doing good with eating healthy.. until today.

So I'm going to be a big nerd for a month or so... you can come over if you want haah .. we can be fat together

I also got 2 copies of the absolute garbage DVD.... it was brutal.. I was like "uhh haha I already have one.... I guess I have 3 now huh..." Anyone like garbage besides me?

Uhhh maybe I'm not good at math and the fact that I also lost my paystub isn't too great either buuuut when you made 900 some dollars.... why do I only get like 791 of that...



actually wait... haha.. taxes...... you are a fucking cunt.


I really want to strangle my brother.... his headset is somewhat broken... so I can hear ALL his friends on his speakers... and its really loud and annoying...

uuhhh what else? So I am uhhh working my birthday... not impressed but if I want christmas eve and new years eve off, I am gonna have to... at least the entire day is overtime pay hehe

I think I'm going to have my Birthday party December 8th ahah... because I still want to have a party and this is the closest weekend that fits.

Not really excited about Christmas or my birthday yet... its just making me irritable. Like, how I haven't even started to shop yet and my parents have given me the most OBSCURE things to buy. Like, my Dad, wants this model toy car... its soooooooo fucking specific.. he doesn't even know if the model is in existence... he also wants a bob dylan/ tom petty dvd.... I have checked EVERYWHERE on the internet and they dont have it.. he also put stupid things on his list like "a new job" and " a new ferrari"

seriously, dont put shit on your list we cant get you, 4/10 things on your list are remotely attainable.


My mom put underwear on her list.... uhhh, where do I start with that one? Ahah... I'm going to get her a frying pan and some plates and maybe some glasse... even those are more for the house than her... but you know, I have tried getting things for my mom that you know, she would like herself. Like her favorite artists on cd and shit... some of them haven't even been opened. So this year, I'm saying "fuck that" and getting her stuff she just wants for the house.

Thank god Davids easy. I can get pratically 100% of his stuff at EBGames if they god willing, have it.. Haven't been too impressed with the EBGames here though.. they are lacking in stock and customer service.. I asked the ginger kid/ mongoloid troll about a Silent Hill game and whether they had it and he aksed me to look at the shelf.. I told him that I just came from the shelf, hence, why I'm asking your acne ridden face if you have any on the shelf behind you.. then he proceeds to look in a binder for something.... i dont know... i think he was trying to help me yet he didnt say anything to me like "just hold on let me check the binder" he just looked in it for about 3 minutes. then i got annoyed and walked out.

I'm going to start the gauntlet that is Christmas shopping probably Saturday or today. Depending if Nicole wants to accompany me. hah.

I have also decided NOT to go to my staff Christmas party...as I am positive I would just feel out of place and would just want to get excessively drunk. Not that getting drunk is a bad thing, just, I haven't really met anyone yet and I don't think meeting the people you work with in a drunken stupor is a good idea. Plus the bindery operator, Lee, wanted me to come and get completley smashed with him. I don't do well hitting back lots of drink in a matter of a 5-10 minute period so that was also a deterrant for me.. haha.

I'm hoping Nicole will be arriving soon... I really want to get the most out of my Friday off... Last night was intese... I started work at 4:00 in the afternoon and didn't go home till 3:00 in the morning. I was whooped. All because one of our jobs wasn't there till 11:30. There was like a 3 hour period where we had no jobs to do so we ended up cleaning the factory... yay~

Also, when I came home last night.. I was so tired and couldnt unlock the door. SO i called my brother from inside the house and was like
"hey david, you comfy?"
"huh, yeah?"
"well, you should get your fat ass upstairs and opne the fucking door"
"all you have to do is unlock it"
".........................................................OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR"

so he does come upstairs and unlocks the door, he catches me swearing like a sailor and I siad something like this

"WHo the fuck locks the door at 3 in the mornning david? your fucking insane!"
"I waited for you to come home"
"I fucking appreciate that but right now you can fucking die in a fire..."
"Someones on the rag?"
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
"Hes such a bitch, eh trooper?" (yes, he talked to the dog as I stormed to the shower)




So the conclusion of this story is mike likes to keep it classy, all the time 24/7.



I was depressed because I broke my garbage keychain coming out of the car... it was my favorite keychain and I yelled "FUCK RIGHT OFF" in my driveway, yes, at 3 in the morn..

So yeah... Thats all I got got today.




Later Ladies,

Mike

I also found this very funny...

DANCE IT OUT!

I definitely forgot how much i loved ladytron

ahhahha

never gets old

Hey,

So I finally wrestled down a job here in St. Albert. After applying at several places and having three interviews, I finally got one. It also turned out to pay the most and benefit me the most.

The job is at the St. Albert Gazette and I'm a bindery operator. Now if you don't know what a bindery operator is, I'm not telling.. its sounds flashy and I want people to think I still have a flashy job.

The best part of the job is that I get weekends off.. something I'm not really accustomed to... and something I'm definitely going to have to get used to. I have lots of manual labour I have to do but I don't think that will be a problem. On the other hand, having to work with scary ogres.. that may be a problem. A additional brightside is I will have benefits of the medical and dental variety which will be good considering lil' ol Mikey is coming off Mommy and Daddy's medical plan on his birthday.

I want to do some celebrating... but Nicole is getting ready to go to Fort McMurray again and Warren is somewhere, completely enamored by some austrailian boy.... whatever happened to "bros before hoes"? (even if the hoe is a manhoe).. I think Julia is busy too..

I will just hang out with my gentleman dog, Trooper and the Contessa of cunt, Sparky.

Its not that bad, right?

Umm Hey B-52s.. how you guys doing.. Your kind of sweet ;)

Halloween was fantastic. For the first time in so many years... the weather was actually nice..

Umm... I'm so stressed now though... The bills came in and I geuss we are expected to pay for them? Except.... I have no money... and I had a interview at Blockbuster yesterday which I think went pretty well they tell me starting wage can be expected between $8.50-$9.50.... but I get 10 free rentals of whatever I want each week.. which is good because thats where half of my money goes anyway. But my Dad doesn't like that idea... He seems to think I can get better with a high school diploma and keeps pushing me to work at a library... I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE TO TELL HIM THAT I DON'T HAVE THE DIPLOMA TO WORK AT ONE. Time and time again I have said.."Dad, they are looking for people with a library sciences diploma for that position...plus its only a temporary position."

I mean, uhh.... whatever.


If someone wasn't with me yesterday, my self-induced stress would have gotten the better of me...